How to recognize the boss - a tyrant in an interview?
Recently, I have been very interested in the topic of asshole in general and corporate asshole in particular, since one has to deal with them constantly. In this article I will talk about the ways how they can be identified at the stage of the interview, i.e. before you started working with them.
After you start working in any organization, you have enough weeks to understand how comfortable it is for you to work there, how friendly your colleagues are and whether your boss is adequate. Unfortunately, if everything is bad, then the situation can be solved only by dismissal. The process is unpleasant, sometimes painful. In addition, work experience of a week or two raises questions for future employers.
Therefore, it’s better to determine if your potential boss is a tyrant and an asshole even before you start working together . Make an informed decision so that you don’t pay too high a price for an error. Constant work in an atmosphere of fear and mistrust, humiliation and guilt can destroy your life, present and future.
For many years I was convinced that any organization is a reflection of its leader: his enthusiasm or apathy, love of life or pessimism, positive or anger. Therefore, it is very important to be able to identify the boss - an asshole even at the stage of the interview and refuse to work with him.
3 signals for an interview, when you see who needs to flee the company
If at the stage of the interview you start to be pushed about corporate values - you have a serious reason to think. Of course, values are important. Each person and each group have them, regardless of its size. These values are manifested primarily in concrete actions, in relation to people and between people. For example, did you meet in an interview, did you help find a place, did you offer an armchair and a drink. You can also see the values in action by observing the interviewer’s behavior towards you and other people in the interview. This is not always obvious, but sometimes you can notice positive or negative points.
But when any values begin to be declared right from the threshold, at the stage of the interview, before or after it is an alarming sign. These are not values, this is a stranglehold that they began to put on your neck. With this noose you are going to be tied.
Keep in mind that these values were created and will be used only in order to arouse a feeling of inferiority, failure, guilt, i.e. the whole snake ball of negative and destructive emotions that asshole trying to impose on you. Through the declaration of values, this is easier and more convenient. Some even have whole lists of these values. Can you imagine? A collection of noises for all occasions! BDSM Brain.
Until recently, when I heard about values, I thought: “What if? What if they really have values for people? ” But no. Once again I was convinced that there are no exceptions.
Or vice versa. There are and continue to unpleasantly surprise. I recently encountered what a potential leader in a conversation with me called, discussed and condemned former and current colleagues for their inconsistency with their values, described their actions and described them in a negative way. He almost literally said: "Some assholes work with me." If you hear anything like this, it is better to run immediately.
If I hear a phrase like “There is no money, but there are many values that you must comply with,” I perceive it as “You work, you fool, we will give you a badge.” And this is at its best.
Do not confuse the values of the company with the rules and requirements, schedule and schedule. This dress code, and opening hours, other rules governing work. They are not values.
In my opinion, real values are not declared or imposed.They are created by the whole team, they are taken care of and taken care of, like comfort in their own home, they are proud of them. These values are shown to each other and to you, and do not require you. They are not used as a means of assessment and pressure, and, especially, humiliation.
What do real values look like?
It's great when a company has real values. This means that a team or company appreciates those who work in it. I would even say that the team appreciates everyone who works nearby, is proud of their people. In particular, because they constantly study, participate in conferences, help beginners and each other. And that’s great. Such values are posted on the website, eychars proudly talk about them, boast of them. And those who meet with such values are very motivated to get into such a team, to be similar with those who are no longer in and to be like them.
But everything changes when values are used as a criterion for evaluating a person. For example, if a person read 2 books in a month, does he correspond to values or not? And if not one, is it bad and does not fit? It seems to me that values are, first of all, what team members value each other for, and not a way of dividing into their own - someone else's, bad - good. Their meaning - we value those who work with us. If this is critical, it’s easy to verify a candidate simply by asking him questions, rather than trying to fit him into their standards by force.
It is not a matter of values, but what are they used for. For example, this: "We quickly admit our mistakes." It sounds very reasonable and correct. I agree with that. But in practice it turned out that you were wrong or not, and what exactly your mistake determines the bosses. And the value immediately transforms into the following: “we do not argue with the authorities. And the one who violates the values we do not need. " The topic of dismissal for non-compliance with interview values sounded 5 times.
When I was told in an interview that during the next meeting they would tell me about corporate values and we would discuss my compliance with these values for an hour and a half, I almost fell off my chair.
It was about this use of values that I wrote. When values turn into a Procrustean bed into which they try to drive and trample you.
In my opinion, one of the most important values is the personal freedom of everyone, which does not interfere with someone else's personal freedom. It cannot be based on suppression, only on free choice.
And nobody canceled productivity, as well as the rules and requirements of the company. It is important to distinguish from real values so that values do not become a tool of manipulation.
Therefore, if suddenly at the stage of communication with a recruiter or a hiring manager you hear something about the values that you must comply with, do not think, run. Most likely, you have an asshole in front of you who can’t redo it.
Response to your questions
Before or after the interview, it’s appropriate to ask Eichar about how the interview went. You can ask polite questions about a potential boss. This is normal. You can also chat with potential colleagues, ask about what interests you. Through social Networking is easy to do. It is very useful to talk with those who worked before you for the vacancy that you are applying for. As with other former employees. In this case, the assessment will be more objective and complete.
Perhaps it will even be negative. Nobody's perfect. In this case, you can decide in advance whether you can put up with the shortcomings of the potential leader.
It is worth worrying when there is no reaction, or when it is sluggish and slurred.
If they don’t answer you, they shy away from direct answers or they are too streamlined and obscure - something is wrong.
The fact is that most people really do not like to talk badly about others, especially behind them. It's just unpleasant, so they are silent.
If in response to a question about a specific person you hear silence, and not from one, but from all colleagues, then for them they did not find a single good word. And this is very sad, first of all, for himself.
In addition, tyrants and assholes are bosses, and just toxic employees create around them a disgusting atmosphere of fear, self-doubt, disgust and guilt. This atmosphere is so painful that it’s hard and disgusting not only to talk about, but also to think about who creates it.
So they are silent not only about the dead.
First of all, they are silent about assholes and tyrants.
Yes, you can argue that there may be a corporate ethic that prohibits the discussion of superiors and even colleagues. See point one. Any set of rules, a charter, is created to ensure complete and unquestioning obedience. If in the army and some other structures this is justified, then in business companies this raises questions.
I once was in an interview with a large international company. After the end of the next stage, I asked a completely innocent question to the girl - eycharu about the company, or about further steps in the interview process. I don’t remember already. And in her eyes I saw a wall of fear and confusion. And I immediately realized that in a company that is based not on respect, but on fear, I don’t want to work. If you see this look in response to your questions - run.
Reaction to your opinion
Even if none of the above triggers worked, this is not a guarantee of successful work. Especially if you are used to working creatively and making decisions yourself.
In so many organizations you will be well treated, respectfully communicate with you. And you might even like it. Some positions simply do not provide for decision-making, and in some, creativity is completely absent. Sometimes an employer just needs “hands”. Enough of their ideas. If this suits you, then why not?
For many, it is important to make decisions independently. Moreover, many positions, especially managerial ones, require independent decision making.
Nevertheless, I had to face situations when almost any initiative was blocked by a higher leader. Only one opinion was accepted, the opinion of management. The whole office played, and probably still plays an exciting game called "Guess what the bosses have in mind." And if the "bosses" have not yet come to a definite opinion, then the office is at an impasse and freezes.
I will not discuss the correctness or incorrectness of this strategy. Each owner and manager himself has the right to choose a leadership style. But the applicant has the right to decide whether such a style suits him or not. And for this you need to know at least about it.
There is one caveat. This applies only to those areas in which the head of the company or unit to understand himself. Or thinks he understands. If this is not the case, he will not intervene, no matter how much he wants it.
In an interview, it’s quite difficult to determine whether your opinion will be appreciated. You can take advantage of the tips from the previous paragraphs and talk with former employees or employees. You may be able to learn about the management style in the company and make an informed decision.
However, some points can be clarified.
Pay attention to how your opinions and ideas are related. They will probably ask you questions and listen to your answers.
Just watch: is there a difference of opinion in the company or can there be only one right opinion. This will become clear as soon as you hear the correct opinion, different from yours.
If during the dialogue the topic of freedom of initiative could not be clarified, ask the question yourself. Probably when you were studying the company, you had ideas that you could do differently. Tell us about them. Ask how they relate to your idea. Most companies worth working for will only be happy with your thoughts and ideas, even if they don't carry any value. They will just be happy for your interest.
If you encounter a wave of cold misunderstanding and negativity, you have reason to think and clarify the situation. Perhaps the company just needs "hands."And perhaps your opinion does not interest anyone at all.
If you don’t want to get to the boss - tyrant, spend your nerves and health on work, and then on dismissal, then here are 3 triggers that are worth paying attention to.
- I impose values on you and require them to be respected
- Everyone is silent. About the boss, about the company. Avoid talking and fear.
- You are voiced the "right opinion" even in the area in which you are a specialist.
Even the presence of one of them is a serious reason to beware. However, you decide.
There are a lot of videos on this topic on YouTube. Here is one of them.
A much more interesting situation is when asshole - you yourself . However, there is a hope that, having realized himself as an asshole, having realized all the inferiority and destructiveness of his behavior, a person. ceases to be. Who knows? I really hope so.